Why Me?


I often wonder “Why me”? But who doesn’t and I always try to keep a positive mindset when I want to complain about what I don’t have compared to what I do have. It’s hard, if not for most people it certainly is for me. I’m currently trying to grasp the “inside looking out” concept with everyday life situations, since I have always been the person my friends came to when they had reached their boiling point. I consider myself very good at giving advice and I always try to tell related stories to show them that they are not by themselves, we all have to deal with the bumps in the road sooner or later but it’s about making it through and not giving up.

From the outside of things I remember always applying the pressure by saying “there has to be something you can do” or “did you try…” because on the outside it seems like you get all the information on things that don’t apply to you or you don’t care about at all. Before I attended college a job was the last thing on my mind but job fair, hiring now and start immediately emails spammed my inbox, checking them one by one and sending them to the trash was everyday repetitions for me. A year later after a wasted year of college I’m right back where I started wondering where those emails are now and thinking how I understand the reaction from those I always told to keep trying and never give up, now that I’m on the inside looking out.

On the inside I’m meeting new people who don’t know my story and I don’t feel the need to tell them; meanwhile, I’m sitting around complaining about jobs and life itself and I’m forced to listen to the same crap advice I gave to friends when I once was looking inside. Then I’m forced to really let the skeletons out the closet as more details of my past are needed to explain why I can’t apply as easily to get the jobs who are saying “hiring now or start immediately”. I feel like no one understands exactly what I’m going through, I lash out and give up even trying to explain every single detail down to the grain so by the time I’m down talking; in my mind the listener should feel exactly where I’m coming from but that is never the case, usually I’m just left thinking why did I even bother.

I personally crumble at the sound of bad news and in my own world I make it out to seem as if it’s only me going through these life experiences. Being positive and having faith is the best advice I have received, its more helpful to your mindset other than given advice as an idea or strategy, I realize having the right people around you keeping you motivated is also good as well. I don’t believe your life is predestined but I do believe a course was set for all of us but only if you make the right decisions.

Why me? , well I’m special and blessed. I’m going through this so that my inside experiences help those having the same problems. On the other hand I say to myself should I derailed my daughters from making mistakes and taken chances or will there bumpy road help them become humble to the lifestyle they are given? I guess only time will tell

Check out KrissyHastings “I am in a hopeless spot”


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